Patrick Malloy

Bang Bang Patrick Malloy

Youthimax is a cure-all miracle drug from Johnson and Johnson which has all but eliminated death in modern society. Which is great news. Unless you work at a funeral home. The O?Rourke Funeral Home in West Philadelphia has fallen into obscurity, along with it?s two sole employees. Max and Bligh waste the days away sleeping in coffins and counting shovels until that fateful day that they decide to become serial killers. The drunken Bligh finds serendipitous instructions in the Beatles tune ?Maxwell?s Silver Hammer? and convinces his partner that it?s only right that Maxwell kill with a silver hammer. With little business and less regret, Maxwell and his alcoholic train wreck of a partner become the most infamous serial killers in Philadelphia history. Business is booming in both the funeral home and the serial killing industries as the world searches for these Beatles killers. In a perfect world, serial killers could do their jobs unencumbered. But the world isn?t perfect, and the duo are soon weighed down with a nosey Mafioso, an uncontrollable teen daughter, the funeral home?s bitter elderly owner, and the F. B. I. Obviously, comedy abounds. Bang Bang has everything a dark comedy should have including, but not limited to: murder, love, murder, alcohol, murder, stereotyping, murder, Beatles music, murder, family, murder, public transportation, and even murder. In case you haven?t figured it out, there?s a whole lotta murder in this book. Will the F. B. I. catch the killers? Will the mafia get to the murderers first? Will Paul McCartney sue this writer? Find out in Bang Bang, the hilariously untrue story of funeral home serial killers and hammer hijinks. And Vaseline! All of your non-Paul-McCartney-lawsuit questions are answered in this brilliant debut novel, written in the style of a poorly educated Mark Twain!